Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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