Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
