i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
