OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
