we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
