Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
