omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Oh god it's open bar.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
