Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just had sex on a roof
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
