Buhtt sex?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize