you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
