I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize