But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I accidentally burped into my bong.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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