Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I wish I only lived at night.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize