you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
