so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
