I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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