ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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