i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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