We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
