I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
