Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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