We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize