So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
