Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
