no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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