You made me cry and you don't even care
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
