I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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