i think my tv is drunk
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
