jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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