I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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