You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
