What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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