hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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