YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
