Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize