My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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