Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
