Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
