the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
