Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
