His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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