I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
