Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
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