Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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