life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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