He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
