Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize