bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
