just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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