This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
