the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
