somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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