I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
