So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
