I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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