Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
