Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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