Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
