somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
