I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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