Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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