Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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