i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
