is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
