dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize