To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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