STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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