So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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