I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
