she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
